Monday, August 23, 2010

Prayer From The Heart





Show me the way, Lord.
I am always your student.
I am always in love with you.
I will change myself
to follow the deepest promptings
that you have planted in my heart.
Show me not the answer,
show me the right questions
to ask.  Show me what is right
and I will do it.
I will fail, often.
If I ask for something that does not help me,
show me the error, and lead me to that
which helps me.
Show me how to love, Lord.
Many things pose as love;
how do I sort my way through all the masks
that show themselves as love
that are not love.
Show me how to live my life.
I walk in a trance,
I move without being awake
I act without a plan.
My head is fuzzy; my limbs do not respond well.
My walk is tilted.
I don’t know when I’m hungry.
I eat whenever my stomach hurts.
I breathe air that I have spoiled.
My spirit seems clogged. Though I want to fly
I have no wings.
Help me to listen
to know your voice
when I hear it.
A thousand teachings flood my senses
until I am falling over the ropes of words
of those who claim to be wise.
Cloudy mysticism is everywhere:
“we are all one, god is in all of us,
listen to the silence within you,”
so many messages that do not bear
on my experience of reality.
I only know what my day presents,
nothing more.  I can feel my fellow humans,
their fears and their dreams.
I would serve and be served by them
if I had something real to give.
Show me what is real, Lord.
Show me a work that is generous and clean.
Show me how to use my gifts,
for you have given me so many,
yet I squander them
and am left with a greed
that controls me.
Show me what is possible, Lord.
I would love to believe that anything
is possible.
I need to have faith in Faith.
My senses tell me
that nothing is fixed, that the earthly world
swirls like a fluid dream. I want to know
what is true, Lord.
If nothing is fixed, then nothing is impossible.
Show me how to master it, Lord.
At the depths of my heart, I long to master life.
I long to master awareness itself.
Show me my own mind, Lord.
I don’t know who else to ask, but You.
Show me how to wear myself
in the best light.  Show me grace, Lord, show me
all the things I have forgotten, all the things I knew
when I was a child,
before I lost my courage,
before I cared whether I won or lost
or tied or died or lived well
or lost myself in dark valleys,
before I learned to walk,
before I learned to talk
before I learned to think.
Show me everything, Lord,
show me all that I need
and all that I can handle
to create me as your heart’s desire.
Show me how to make your heart’s desire
my heart’s desire,
that I may walk alongside you
secure in the knowing of you
as my friend and mentor.
Show me, Lord, show me.
I weep with desire, show me
reveal it to me though it be too bright
reveal it to me in the little bits that you deem right,
any way you want to bring me into your heart,
Lord, just show me.