Sunday, October 10, 2010
A Trailer Park Woos A Tornado
Art Rosch Oct 10, 2010
Do I see a swirling black cloud
off to the southeast, with big manly
thunderheads towering into the deep blue sky?
Oh yeah, it’s me baby, I’m comin’ to GIT you!
Please, o heart of hearts, sweep me off my cinderblocks,
tear off my tin roofs and toss them everywhere!
Just gimme some time, honey bun,
I haven’t got my wind yet.
You? Short on wind? Who else you been destroyin’?
I hear Dreamin’ Acres got a good tossin' just a little while ago.
Now, baby, don’t be that way. A dinky lil’ F2 was showin’ off
near the county line.
Don’t you go using the “F” word on me, big boy.
For all I know, that F2 was YOU, befo' you got your growth.
Awwww, baby? Can’t you see how I’m swellin’ for you?
Me and a hundred other trailer parks ‘tween here and Kansas City.
And what if it’s true? I’m a tornado! I just can’t help myself.
Look! I’m goin’ F-5 to prove my love.
(Sighs). Allright, sugar. Just give these folks a chance to run to their cellars, a’fore you, uh huh (coughs coyly) blow me apart!
What? I CAN’T HEAR YOU! I’m comin’. I’m comin’ fast!
Just don’t be wearing no soybean skirts, mister!
Whoops! There went my picnic tables. You devil, you!