I love writing. I revere the use of language as an instrument for seeking the truth about life. My books are downloadable and the paperback editions will be appearing soon. Click on the links at the right side of this page. Peruse this blog, it's loaded with music, photography and writing. Hey, sign up for my email list!
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Friday, March 18, 2016
My Book Web Site
I have a new web site dedicated to selling my books. By next week there will be three books on offer: my autobiographical novel (Confessions Of An Honest Man), my RV/memoir and my fantasy/Sci fi epic. The link is Books By Arthur Rosch. Click on through, o legion of fans, and put yourself on my email list.
Thanks!
Tuesday, March 8, 2016
Dilemma: Love In The Age Of Hippies
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Checked Out By Aliens |
Ah, youth. I had some interesting experiences in the sixties, living in Marin County.This story came to me in a bank of memories over coffee a couple of days ago. It said "Write me, write me!" Who am I to defy the command of the writer's muse, no matter how arcane or silly the subject matter? Actually, I like this story a lot.
1967. Muir Beach, California
Robert had taken LSD three hours ago and now he was trapped in the bathroom. It was a small bathroom in a small beach house. The place looked out over the Pacific Ocean and could only be reached by climbing a hundred and fifty wooden steps or riding a cable-driven cargo trolley. The place belonged to Linda, Robert's acquaintance, a woman who made tie dye and batik clothing.
Robert wasn't a casual taker of psychedelic drugs, but he was with good people: yoga practitioners, Tai Chi enthusiasts. He felt safe. His friend Pam was at the party, and so was his room mate Steve.
It was an intimate gathering, about a dozen people agreeing to share an experience in a beautiful setting. Linda dispensed a tab of LSD to each arrival. Now it was getting towards evening and the group had settled into serious tripping. There was a bit of quiet talk. Some giggles from a couple on the sofa. It was quiet. The sound of the surf tumbled in the background.
Robert was VERY high but when nature called, she could not be denied. He viewed the act of taking a shit as a comedic episode, a meeting of the sacred and profane. He made a little mantra from it, mentally chanting the words to a samba beat: how could a thing so huge..still have to take a poo. The Huge was himself, in his expanded universe, the hyper-galactic infinite divine. And yet, way way down there in the microcosmic world, his body still had to eliminate the dross from his small intestine. It all came down to the most common things.
The bathroom was a cubby hole. It had a toilet, a small window and a wooden stand that held an incense burner and a couple of magazines. An old tarnished mirror hung on the wall opposite the throne.
Before the toilet episode began, Robert had been watching Linda move about, with her bun of blonde hair trailing cute little wisps. She wore a sleeveless batik dress of luminous green and a necklace of silver and turquoise. Robert liked the shape of her. She was well toned, contained in a nice little parcel of soft firmness. Her breasts lifted the neckline of the dress and the effect was mesmerizing. Linda was single, Linda was beautiful, and Linda had given him a smile as she dispensed the tablet of LSD. Robert interpreted this smile as an invitation. He thought Linda was conveying a message. "Ask me to make love," he thought she was beaming at him, "ask me."
The problem.... that is, the problem before getting trapped in the bathroom, was working up the nerve to ask Linda to make love. Other couples were pairing up and vanishing into various nooks on the property, riding the sound of the mighty surf into psychedelic splendor.
The party's social math, the indices of affinity seemed to put Robert and Linda together. Robert had never done this kind of thing before. He had never approached a woman to ask if she wanted to "go somewhere quiet". The complexities of an LSD high built a scaffold atop Robert's shyness. How do I do that? he wondered, how do I come right out and ask a woman to make love? He wondered and feared, and wondered and feared, and tried to engage Linda in pleasant conversation but an acid conversation can be very weird. There are multiple interpretations layered on every word and phrase.
If he said, "Hi," well, okay, there you go. Was he greeting her or was he making an insipid observation on his state of psychic elevation?
"You're beautiful" he said, at one point. "You look stunning in that dress." That was not ambiguous. Linda merely said "Thank You" and the conversation jumped off a cliff and went splat. If only she would make things easier for him! Maybe he was wrong. Maybe she didn't send the signal he thought she sent. But her fingers had lingered on his hand as she offered him the purple tablet. She had given him a deep soulful look.
Then his stomach sent him another kind of signal. The bathroom was directly off the one large room of the house. The room was virtually the entire living space. There was a counter, a kitchenette, and a short fight of stairs that led to a loft bedroom. A thin plywood door separated the bathroom from everything else.
Robert's poo was a loose disgusting mess and he was about to turn the flush handle when the thought occurred to him: what if the sound of the toilet flushing sends someone into a bad trip? Or worse, what if it sends EVERYONE into a bad trip?.
The house was high on the bluff and the toilet flushed with a distinct sound as the water forcefully drained. Sploosh! it said, splodda splodda splodda splodda, and all the pipes in the house rumbled and whooshed for what seemed hours.
Everyone is so high! Robert thought. If I suddenly introduce these sounds with all their associations, they will drown out the Ravi Shankar on the record player and they will enter people's LSD-saturated inner landscapes as a downward spiral that will carry them into the underworld! People on acid are so suggestible! I'll ruin the party!
He couldn't look at the poo. He had closed the lid and was frantically using a National Geographic to fan the fumes outside. He was on the verge of puking, which would add another dimension to his problem. There was a box of incense and a pack of matches, which he now used as he attempted to work his way out of this mess.
What am I going to do? What am I going to do?
Another part of Robert's psyche was laughing at him, saying, oh this is pathetic, you're wasting your whole fucking trip on idiotic paranoia. Robert fought back. It's unselfish paranoia! he replied. I just don't want to send anyone down the toilet. Acid's unpredictable. It can be a catalyst for deeply buried psychic material. I can't take that chance!.
It seemed that hours passed. Robert fanned fumes out the window, lit incense, lit matches until the pack was gone. There finally came a breaking point.
Fuck this, Robert decided. It's inevitable. I have to flush the toilet. He reached out and touched the cold metal handle with its contoured shape. He caressed it for a moment. Then, in an act of passionate courage, he pressed down and released the water.
Sploosh! Oh god it was deafening! Splodda splodda splodda, down down and down into the depths of the netherworld. The pipes went Whhhsssssh like Boeing 707's lining up on a runway before takeoff. There were at least eight people just a few feet away from this sonic extravaganza. They might tear him to pieces when he emerged. He had bummed their trip! They might ostracize him forever, banish him from other weekend retreats at other beautiful houses full of beautiful women.
His heart was beating frantically. Okay, he decided, let's face the consequences of my irresistible evacuation. Robert turned the knob and exited the bathroom, closing the door with the barest of clicks.
It was almost dark. Ravi Shankar 's music came gently through the hi fi speakers, playing an evening raga. Candles were lit and most of the group sat rocking to and fro, lying on beanbag chairs or prone on yoga mats. Nothing had happened as a result of Robert's flush. Nothing at all.
A candle had been set in the middle of the room. Linda was alone on a cushion, sitting in yoga posture, meditating on the flickering light.. Her eyes were open and seemed radiant and enormous. She glanced at Robert without reproach. The whole episode had passed without a ripple, merely a product of Robert's self-conscious agony.
What the hell, he thought, just do it. He found a cushion and sat next to Linda, replicating her full lotus, displaying his credentials as a yogi. His feet rested easily on his thighs and his spine straightened as he gathered the nerve to approach this gorgeous woman.
Linda's shoulder looked velvety in the candle light. Robert gently put his fingers on her body, just the four tips of the fingers of his right hand, touching her oh so lightly. He watched Linda's response. She didn't flinch or move away from him. Nor did she move towards him. She was set in her own center. That's okay, Robert thought. That's okay. Again, his heart beat fast, his stomach turned over with anxiety. I've got to do this, he urged himself. I've got to break through my fear. You get nothing when you don't ask. So just ask while you have the chance.
"Linda," he said, "You're beautiful. Your skin is amazing."
She smiled a subtle little smile but remained facing forward. Robert was about to commit himself but he realized that he hadn't prepared his words. How should he put it? "Linda, will you make love with me?" Or more commanding. "Linda, make love with me." That might seem too aggressive. How about "I would love to make love to you, Linda." Oh, that was clumsy. Love to make love. Oh fuck it. He leaned close to her and quietly spoke into her ear. "Linda, love make me, oh, uh, you know, I really dig you, um, um, this is hard. What I mean to say is I want you to make love to you. I mean me..I want.to make love to you. There! Whew!"
Linda's head turned with agonizing slowness. The huge shining eyes rotated until they met Robert's eyes. She was a sacred dakini, a deva, a goddess!
"Robert," she said, "you're sweet, but you're just not my type."
Robert squeezed the pillow, almost pulling it out from under himself. "Okay, okay, that's cool, I understand that, it's just that, well, okay....thanks."
He stood up holding the pillow in front of his body, then dropped it back to the floor and walked onto the deck. He could see the last of the sun's rays as they vanished into the starry night. His vulnerable heart opened and he wept. He was so sad. He was so lonely. Everyone else had a lover.
Well, that wasn't true. There were people here who seemed perfectly content with their own company. There was Allison, there was Dave. They were sitting, watching, tripping. Now that he thought about it, Allison had been beaming desire signals at him all evening. There was no mistaking the meaning of those lingering gazes. He had ignored them. She was nice, but she wasn't......uh...his type. She was a little too Jewish. Robert was a Jew boy and had to have himself some Shicksa, oh yes he did....
He winced at his own self-evaluation. It was true, but he was as he was. Maybe, some day, an Allison would look mighty good.
He lifted his eyes to the sky and saw The Milky Way for the first time. He had never understood that this THING hovered over his head, arching across the heavens in such primordial splendor. Amazing! The sky was the most beautiful thing he had ever seen. .
After a time, as he watched the stars, he realized that at last he was free from all the ridiculous bullshit he had just put himself through. Afraid to flush a toilet. Afraid to ask a girl. God! The universe was such a spectacular place! He didn't have to hook up with Linda. He didn't have to hook up with anyone. He was fine, right here. Robert and the sky, right here.
Well, that wasn't true. There were people here who seemed perfectly content with their own company. There was Allison, there was Dave. They were sitting, watching, tripping. Now that he thought about it, Allison had been beaming desire signals at him all evening. There was no mistaking the meaning of those lingering gazes. He had ignored them. She was nice, but she wasn't......uh...his type. She was a little too Jewish. Robert was a Jew boy and had to have himself some Shicksa, oh yes he did....
He winced at his own self-evaluation. It was true, but he was as he was. Maybe, some day, an Allison would look mighty good.
He lifted his eyes to the sky and saw The Milky Way for the first time. He had never understood that this THING hovered over his head, arching across the heavens in such primordial splendor. Amazing! The sky was the most beautiful thing he had ever seen. .
After a time, as he watched the stars, he realized that at last he was free from all the ridiculous bullshit he had just put himself through. Afraid to flush a toilet. Afraid to ask a girl. God! The universe was such a spectacular place! He didn't have to hook up with Linda. He didn't have to hook up with anyone. He was fine, right here. Robert and the sky, right here.
Monday, January 4, 2016
Breeding Hearts
This is the first draft of what I hope will become a series of novels. It's only two days old, so bear with me.
Something didn't smell right. It smelled too good, like oatmeal cookies, or vanilla air freshener. We were standing in the foyer of a large house, one of those ostentatious mansions that sprout like mushrooms in fields that were once filled with rows of artichoke plants or almond trees.
Something didn't smell right. It smelled too good, like oatmeal cookies, or vanilla air freshener. We were standing in the foyer of a large house, one of those ostentatious mansions that sprout like mushrooms in fields that were once filled with rows of artichoke plants or almond trees.
It
should have smelled like dogs. It
needn't reek of dog but there would always be a certain doggie fug in the house
of a breeder. Lydia and I were here on
a surprise inspection. If this place
was a puppy mill, as we suspected, it wouldn't smell like oatmeal cookies. It would smell like damp fur and a little
bit of shit and piss. There would be
the scent of animal stress, which smells the same no matter what the breed. Abused animals give off a distinctive odor
that is layered over with a psychic miasma of terror.
I
looked at Lydia, who is her own special breed of sensor. Lydia's face registered complete
horror. She was trying to keep herself
together, but her special senses also burden her with a special fragility. Lydia can empathize with other creatures
with visceral accuracy. The job was
hard on her. She kept working, in spite
of the pain.
I
showed my credentials to the oriental lady who stood squarely in front of us,
just inside the door. I had a police
Lieutenant's badge and an I.D. card that identified me as Lucas Holbein, Field
Agent for Viera County Animal Control And Safety. I was a County Sheriff.
Never mind how I got into working cases busting puppy mills and rescuing
starving horses.. This was my work, my
vocation. My fellow cops called me
"Doogie". I didn't care.
"Mrs.
Yu," I said to the tall woman who blocked our way into the house. "We're here on an informal visit. I do not have a warrant. I would appreciate your cooperation."
There
was a smugness to Mrs.Yu that told me this was no surprise. Someone had tipped her that we were
coming. If this was a puppy mill, it
had been cleaned up and the dogs had been silenced.
"Yes,
please come. You are welcome to
house." She almost pranced but
there was a tightness to her gait that shouted "I AM HIDING THINGS FROM
YOU!"
Another
glance towards Lydia. She had got her
composure back but her nostrils were twitching and her eyebrows almost met at
the bridge of her nose. She was very
upset. Already.
The
living room was dimly lit and the furniture was covered in clear plastic. There were plastic runners on the
floor. Paintings on the wall were the
kind purchased for ten bucks a shot at flea markets. Floral still lifes.
Horses in a field. A dilapidated
boat dock with picturesque little skiffs.
"I
would like to look around, Mrs. Yu. I
would like to see your basement, garage and back yard. I can return with a warrant if
necessary."
"All
you like, look. I only do not want you in my personal bedroom. That door, on left down hall." Her hand
described an arc of inclusiveness. Her
palm was facing downward, a gesture I had learned was an evasive
"tell". Palm up: not
hiding. Palm down: hiding. I heard a door open, then close. A man appeared. A big guy with very hard looking hands. A stream of Mandarin flowed from his mouth towards Mrs. Yu.
Lydia's ears twitched. Lydia spoke
Mandarin, Japanese and Russian. She
didn't advertise this fact.
The
man interposed himself between us and Mrs. Yu. I showed the man my card and
badge. He nodded. "I am Mister
Yu. My wife not very much
English," he said. The man projected sheer cold menace. "Is complaint
about dogs? You listen: not
noise!"
In
fact I could hear faint whimpering.
This sound of distress hung like smoke draping itself across the
textured ceiling. Otherwise, the place didn't sound like a breeder's
premises. When breeders treat their
dogs with respect there is always a cacophony of rambunctious animals. It was the quiet places that scared me. I had seen awful things in big quiet houses
out in the suburbs.
"I'd
like to see the back yard, please," I said. Mr. Yu went first, then Lydia
and I followed. Mrs.Yu fell in behind us.
All the doors were closed. The
house was sepulchral. We passed through
the kitchen and there was a tell tale assortment of utensils. I saw cauldrons, kettles and large ladles. A
floor-standing commercial mixer stood next to a double-sized refrigerator. This
house didn't look lived-in. It looked like a factory.
The
door to the garage led off from the kitchen. Just as Mr. Yu was about to turn
the knob, his cell phone rang. He
looked at the caller I.D., then said "Ni Hao!" Our procession paused. A string of Mandarin flowed from Mr.
Yu. He turned his back to us and took
four steps away, into the center of the kitchen. His voice went low, private.
Unfortunately for Mr. Yu, Lydia has ears like a bat. She looked off into space but I'll swear her
ears became pointed.
The
conversation lasted half a minute. Mr.
Yu returned, smiling with feigned embarrassment. "Business call," he said. Lydia threw me a look.
She had heard something important.
The
large back yard was filled with stacks of black-wired cages. They were under green canvas canopies. They stood in an "L" shaped
arrangement with room between each stack for a human to gain access to the cage
doors. There were forty cages and about
half of them were occupied. They were
inhabited exclusively by toy poodles. I
counted four litters of pups. They were
snuggled up to their mothers' teats, some of them wiggling to get hold, some of
them sound asleep. The other cages held
single puppies of various shades.
Black, brown, white and a few pups that were a distinctive pearly taupe.
This
would have been a reasonably acceptable scene but for one odd characteristic:
almost all of the dogs were asleep.
They lay with their heads on their forepaws, or curled in a ball. Some showed eyes that were half open in a hynotized
daze. A few cropped tails wagged. A few
tongues stuck out. There was nothing of
canine vitality on display. Any breeder
of any stripe, anywhere, would have a yard full of barking excited dogs. Visitors!
Yay! That's what I would expect
from twenty dogs.
The two sets of pups were just a
few days old. They lay against their
bitches' bellies like they were dead. I
had to get up close, just to see signs of breath, of life.
Mr.and
Mrs. Yu were moving all around us, stiff like mannikins, bumping and
pushing. Mr. Yu gave me a pretty good
buffet, which he tried to pretend was an accident.
The grins on their faces were
qualified as "shit eating", excuse my language, but there's no other
way to describe the falsity of their expressions.
"What
have you done to them?" Lydia
spoke softly but she was nonetheless howling.
I knew that Lydia already knew things that were still obscure to me. Lydia's intuition often put her two or three
steps ahead of me.
"They
sleep!" protested Mrs. Yu.
"It just exercise. Tired
dogs. Very tired." She pointed at
the gear in the yard. There was the
usual assortment of mesh tunnels, ramps, hurdles. Toys were scattered everywhere.
The turf was almost barren of grass, with divots poking out and signs of digging and scuffling. The fence was perfect. It was a six foot high barrier of twelve
inch pine slats. Each slat terminated
in two points. At the base of the fence
was a concrete footing, eight inches or so.
Nothing was going to dig its way under this fence. None of the neighbors could see anything.
"I
would like to take a blood sample," I said, and produced a syringe and a
rubber tie from my coat pocket. This
brought what I expected from the Yu's: protest. "No blood! Leave
dogs to sleep!" Mrs. Yu did her stiff marionette dance in front of me
while her husband approached from my right side. He did the "accidental" buffet again, but I was ready
for him and I was so set in my stance that I didn't budge an inch. The man almost bounced off of me.
Lydia
had disappeared. She had a knack for
being somewhere and then not being somewhere.
She possessed a native quietude that made her innately stealthy. People
often overlooked her vanishing because they had barely noticed her in the first
place. I walked towards one of the
cages that housed a nursing female.
Mr.Yu put himself in my way.
Mrs. Yu laughed an empty sound.
I needed to keep them busy. I
put my hand on a cage latch and Mr. Yu clamped his hand around my wrist. His grip was like an iron band.
"You
stop!" he said. "No warrant. No search."
"Look,"
I said, keeping anger out of my voice.
I did not want confrontation. "I don't see anything that's a
flagrant violation. Your dogs look
healthy. I'm just curious about this lack of energy." In fact, the dogs did not look healthy. Their gums were pale. Their coats were dull.
Some were panting, others looked almost dead.
This was, to all appearances, a kennel of drugged canines. The two nursing mother dogs looked far too
old to be having litters. One of them
was going grey in the muzzle. The other
was emaciated. I had to keep my
feelinngs out of this situation. It
wouldn't help me handle the Yus. I
needed to give Lydia time to scope out the real kennel, the stuff behind closed
doors.
Lydia
had gone back through the kitchen and down the first available hallway. All the doors were locked. The bathroom door was not locked but a scan
of the medicine cabinet showed empty shelves.
Drawers contained some floss and a bottle of Ibuprofen.
Lydia tried a door that was narrow:
a utility closet. It was locked. Under her coat she wore a photographer's
field vest. From one of its pockets she
produced her little pick set and had the door open in a second. There was a tiny aquarium on a shelf. It was about the size of a shoe box. Tubes
ran from an IV bottle and led to the creature that was imprisoned in this tiny
container. Lydia's heart was already
pounding with fear. She had long ago
accepted the fact that she could not separate her own emotions from the emotions
that swirled around her world. It was a
kind of Hell and she was doing everything possible to live and serve while in
this Hell. It was also the reason for
keeping her personal life simple and reserved for other humans who were
emotionally stable.
She
saw the creature's eyes, staring out from a ball of dark brown poodle
hair. Poodles don't have fur, as
such. They have distinctive curly hair
that retains its growing period indefinitely.
This little pup was nothing but a pair of eyes mounted on a round
tumbleweed of hair. There was an IV
drip descending from an upper shelf. It
ran through a hole in the container's lid and was attached to the puppy,
somewhere in that mass of hyperactive follicles. Lydia examined the label. It
was a used drip bag, crumpled and folded, then unfolded. The label had been scrubbed but Lydia could
read the letters "P-H-E", then there was a washed out place, and the
script continued, revealing the letters "B-A-R-B". It was a piece of information but it was
flawed as a clue. She had no idea what drug or drugs were being used on the
poor little guy. In spite of the chemical cocktail it was being fed, the dog's
eyes were alive with desperation. Lydia
heard a voice as distinctly as if it was being spoken into her ear.
"Get
me out of here!" the voice pleaded.
"I'm going crazy!"
She
didn't have to think about it. She
peeled the lid back and groped for the place where the IV needle was
attached. She knew the needle would be
as fine as a copper wire. She found it,
taped to the dog's right front leg. As
gently as possible, she removed the tape and pulled the needle out. It started to drip and she popped it against
the sheet rock wall until it bent closed.
Then she picked the puppy up. It
was so light! It was no heavier than a
baby finch. This meshed with the
phrases of Mandarin she had heard Mr. Yu speak into the telephone. "Tiny," he said it as if boasting. "Very very tiny. Fit in teacup!"
A
teacup poodle. The smallest poodle
breed. She knew that the oriental market
prized these tiny dogs and would pay four or five thousand dollars for a poodle
that weighed less than six pounds at maturity.
The dog in her hand may not have weighed a pound, if that. His nose was so foreshortened that the tip
of his tongue didn't fit all the way into his mouth. A little pink curl of knobbed flesh stuck out from between his
teeth.
Lydia put him inside her coat. She used a blade in her lock kit to cut out
an approximation of the dog made from her coat lining. She put that brown lining inside the glass
cage and laid the IV tube within its curls.
She replaced the lid and closed the door.
She
listened carefully. She heard the
whimpering, the near inaudible frequency of suffering. The dog inside her coat snugged himself to
her heart and remained quiet. She felt his little warmth against her sweater,
checked that he was able to breathe, and closed the closet door.
Lucas
was still distracting the Yus in the back yard. Lydia looked for the basement door. It was at the end of the hall.
She picked the lock, opened the door.
The lights were on and there were fans turning. As she descended a few
steps the contents of the basement came into view. Shelves were filled with identical glass cages. There were IV bags dripping into most of the
puppies who were confined. The whole
scheme revealed itself. Tiny dogs generate huge profits. Rich Chinese, Korean
and Japanese competed with one another to own the smallest dogs. The Yus
applied a ruthless logic. How do you
prevent a puppy from growing? Deprive
it of exercise, feed it drugs to keep it docile, confine it to a tiny
cage. At eight weeks you clean up the
dog, give it a haircut, take a photo and ship to the customer. All sales final. It's in the contract's small print. Many dogs die in transit.
Those that survive are probably crazy.
It was a scam.
She
used her cell phone to call Lucas. He
picked up, listening.
"I'm
in the basement. It's
unbelievable. Get a warrant. Pretend you're cool with them, or they'll be
gone by tomorrow. There must be fifty
puppies down here and...." she almost sobbed. "Just..just get a warrant.
We have to move on these people. Now!"
Lucas
kept his phone in his hand, palming it.
The situation had just escalated.
In the basement, Lydia got out her
digital camera and took two shots. One
was a wide angle that showed the scale of the place. The other zoomed in to its limit, making an image of two glass
cages that imprisoned two tiny hairy creatures that resembled nothing so much
as characters from a Star Wars film.
They were Ewoks. Minuscule,
somnolescent Ewoks trapped in shoe-box sized aquariums and fed through IV
tubes.
She sent these images to
Lucas. Then she returned upstairs,
moving towards the back yard, hoping she could re-insert herself into the
unfolding "inspection" as if she had been there all along.
Lucas
walked towards another cage, putting a few steps distance from the looming Mr.
Yu. He glanced down at his phone. One image, of a large basement filled with
confined tiny puppies. Another image,
showing the IV drip and the two puppies who lay in their cages as if stunned,
barely breathing. He put his phone back
in his pocket. He returned his
attention to the Yus, and saw Lydia emerge into the yard. There was no noise to her footsteps. She was, again, present. Mrs. Yu gave her a look of profound
mistrust.
"You
go somewhere? You go into my
house?"
Lydia
pointed vaguely towards her personal anatomy.
"I had an emergency. I
needed to use your bathroom. A female
emergency." She made a circle with
her hand, indicating her abdominal regions.
The eyes of Mr. and Mrs. Yu locked briefly, then broke.
Lucas
needed to assuage their fears. He
flipped a few pages on the clipboard that he carried in an inner pocket of his
rain coat. "Okay, look." He made some pen marks on the inspection
form's top page. "Your dogs seem a little lethargic but I can't site you
for a specific violation. How about
this? Let's set up an appointment
in..oh..about a week." He gave a
cautionary look to Lydia. She was
struggling to keep her emotions in check.
The priority was to keep the Yus from bolting, from pulling a couple of
trucks into the driveway, loading up the animals and gear and relocating in one
swift operation. They had
experience. The profits to be made were
enormous and the risk far less than dealing drugs. The Yus might be, probably were, part of an organization. There might be fifty or a hundred identical
puppy mills set up in California and beyond.
He
tore off the top sheet on his clip-board.
It was a yellow inspection form.
Lucas had written the basic information: the family name,
"Yu". Address, type of
facility, number of dogs. He had
refrained from checking off any of the boxes.
Under comments he had written "Dogs display lethargic
demeanor".
Lydia
was turned sideways to the rest of the group.
Lucas saw her glance down into her coat. It lasted a fraction of a second. A little bump moved under her breast. He didn't think it was seen by the Yus. It was time to get out of there.
"Thank
you very much, Mr. and Mrs. Yu," he said.
"I will give you a call some time this week and we can talk
further, okay?"
The
anxious couple seemed to relax. Their
shoulders descended, as if they had been holding their breath and had finally
let go. "They must think I'm
stupid," Lucas thought. "At
least I hope they think I'm stupid."
"Yes,
that fine," Mr. Yu used his bulk to move everyone towards a gate that
opened from the side of the yard and led to the circular driveway where Lucas
had parked his grey Ford Taurus. It was
a Sheriff's Department motor pool vehicle.
The symbol of Viera County surrounded the universal star of Law
Enforcement. Viera County was a place
of lakes and vineyards. The graphic showed a paradise of up-scale agriculture
and refined corridors of Redwood trees.
Lucas considered the County Coat Of Arms to be a ridiculous exercise in
vanity. A more appropriate assortment
of Viera County's reality would have been a collage of marijuana plants, heroin
syringes and half-built developments.
He
drove away from the Yu's house, rounding the corner and stopping under a copse
of oak trees alongside an older house surrounded by a low white picket
fence. It was one of the few original
dwellings that remained after the developers had bought up all the acreage
along Crest Hill Road. Now there were
bulldozers and back hoes, working on properties that were parceled into one
acre lots. Half-built homes were in
progress of becoming pretentious stucco and tile mansions identical to that in
which the Yus kept their breeding enterprise.
Lucas
slipped the radio microphone from its clip.
Lydia opened her coat and a tiny head popped out. "Oh jeez," Lucas blurted. A female voice on the radio responded:
"Not the Christ, Lucas, sorry,
just the same old Judy."
"Sorry
Judy, i just saw something that was...well, a surprise."
"I
hope the good kind," the dispatcher responded.
"Let's
call it a mixed blessing. Do we have
anyone available to do surveillance? Is
there someone with a pulse out in the field that can spend a few hours watching
a house?"
"In
Vikacks?" She referred to
acronym/nickname of Viera County Animal Control And Safety. "You kidding? Terrence is out in Santa Lucia where some horses ran all over the
Pronzini Brothers vines. And...
hell.." This was pronounced "hail" in Judy Fellows Compton
dialect. "Hail no, but I try 'em
all."
It
was the reality of VCACS budget. There
hadn't been any cuts because the agency had started at rock bottom after a
prolonged political struggle between so-called "animal loving
do-gooders" and conservative politicians
Monday, August 31, 2015
So You Think You Can Dance
Copyright 2015
Art Rosch
"What's
wrong with kids today?"
This lament
has been uttered by every generation since Adam and
Eve discovered they were pregnant a second time.
So....what
IS wrong with kids these days?
They feel as if they have no future. The last few
extant generations simply don't.
Futures come in handy when you feel as though the world will be
unrecognizable before you've grown up.
As a child of The Mushroom Cloud I know what that feels like, that amputation
of the future. It made me really angry.
My friends and I were more likely to commit petty crimes and indulge in
drugs. Without a future, why bother? Why work hard in school? Why cultivate disciplines, interests, social
connections? The oceans are rising and
will drown your block or your whole neighborhood. The coolest animals will be extinct. No elephants, no polar bears.
What kind of future is that?
Then I
discovered a TV show called "So You Think You Can Dance". You can knock me over with what these kids
are doing! Their bodies must be
INCREDIBLY strong and flexible. These
kids are doing the impossible! Has the
human race mutated? Do we have extra
joints, super-human muscle memory? Who ARE these people?
They're
just kids. Their secret is that they
found a passion, something that interested them so much that they said
"fuck it" to the absence of the future and decided to live for this
thing called Dance. It was better than
being a thug. Thugs are mean, WAY mean and being mean
doesn't feel very good. Not as good as
practicing B-moves, Krumping, flapping, sapping, tapping, robot-twitching,
water-waving, learning your body's capabilities and stretching them further,
further, further!
This is
IT! Sometimes it's called ART. Don't be embarrassed by the word ART. It's cool to do ART. It's okay.
Even if it's gay it doesn't matter.
Nobody cares about gay any more.
You can be gay, you can change from man to woman or woman to man, nobody
cares! If you want to know where it
is, where the cutting edge in creativity can be found these days you can see it
on "So You Think You Can Dance".
The judges aren't scary. They
aren't there to cut you down. They want
to show you The Future. Word up,
Bro. There IS a future. Nobody can stop it. It takes some work. Everything good takes work. Making a future
is hard work. It's not like it used to
be, when the Future was going to happen no matter what. Now it takes a little faith and a lot of work,
but it's there: you... DO...Have...A...Future.
Do you want it to kick you in the nuts or do you want to dance with it?
When has
anyone given a shit about choreoraphy?
Are you kidding? Corey-who? Shazam!
Choreographers are the composers of Dance. They arrange the time-space-music continuum in which Dance
exists. On the TV show they are not
only given credit, they are like stars!
Now I know the work of Tice Diorio, Mia Michaels, Sonya Tayeh,
"Nappytab", Stacey Tookey and Travis Wall. Choreographers come from the elder population of
dancers. They still dance but they are
the keepers of the flame, the mentors of the seventeen through twenty two year
old dancers who are living the dreams.
I'm not
sure there is any more difficult art form than what is now appearing as
Dance. It's not enough to
specialize. You can't be a ballroom
dancer, a hip-hopper or a Broadway hoofer.
One of the messages of So You Think You Can Dance is that you must be
trained in ALL the dance styles.
Choreographers wont' hire you if you don't know all the styles of dance. Choreographers
are the Gate Keepers, the bosses, the ones who hire dancers. Get tight with the choreographers who work at
SYTYCD and you will be employed for years to come. In time, you will become a choreographer.
The most
amazing thing about the dance numbers on this show is their purity. We're not seeing arrangements for pop
superstars. We're not seeing
choreography for Taylor Swift or Michael Jackson (RIP). These dance routines are created for the
television audience. For US! Sometimes magic happens on that stage. Those of you who watch the show know what I
mean. In ten years time this show has
lifted the art of Dance so that each season is more amazing than the last. The mutations continue. Evolution is visible year to year. Dancers get more flexible, their muscle
memories become more detailed, malleable, imprintable. This happens in front of our eyes. Sure, it's a TV contest show aimed at a
teenage demographic. That's how things
work. Consider the difference between
the egregious karaoke of American Idol and the drama and high art of So You
Think You Can Dance. Big difference,
yeah?
Wednesday, August 26, 2015
Oprah And The Selling of Dream Fulfillment Technology
Oprah and The Selling of Dream Fulfillment Technology
Every time I go to the supermarket I see "O" magazine displayed at the checkout stand and every issue of "O" magazine has a photo of Oprah Winfrey on its cover. There is something disturbing about a person who puts herself on the cover of her own magazine month after month. She can do what she wants with it, but we know what Oprah looks like by now and I feel a little embarrassed for her. She could give us inspiring landscape photos or images of other worthy people. Instead, we get a simple complacent message:"Look at me! I'm Oprah. I'm still young, slim and beautiful." Even though she's not.
If it's wisdom that I seek from the pages of "O" magazine, I would as soon discuss life with a REAL funky old black broad than with this promoter of the so-called Ideal Life.
It takes only a brief glimpse at the titles of the articles to make me feel utterly shitty about myself. I'm not losing weight. I'm not making more money. I'm not getting younger. My libido is vanishing. My dreams haven't been fulfilled.
This last item, about dream fulfillment, is an arrow pointing into the center of Oprah's empire. This uber-wealthy celebrity is selling what I call DREAM FULFILLMENT TECHNOLOGY. She has become rich and powerful peddling this stuff and the irony of it is this: there is no such thing as DREAM FULFILLMENT TECHNOLOGY. There are various tools to help us cope better with life's stresses. There are psychotherapy, meditation, exercise, nutrition and a raft of spiritual practices. None of these, however, guarantees that dreams will come true. Only a very few people, lucky or possessing a certain kind of karma, get to live their dreams. The rest of us must accept the lives we have been dealt. Life is sometimes good, sometimes bad, sometimes a nightmare and occasionally a dream.
The problem with dreams is that one can dream the wrong dream. Watch any episode of "American Idol" to witness inept dreamers. The depth of people's belief in themselves is shockingly at odds with their lack of talent. Dreams are, by their nature, elusive. If people are willing to commit decades of their lives to pursuing a goal, it might be wise to let the process of pursuit become the defining reality. If you do a thing and you love doing it, stay with that love and don't be distracted by some end point called Success. That way, when dreams fail to materialize, the disappointment does not become bitterness. If a dream IS fulfilled, then there must be a new dream, and yet another in an infinite progression of dreams. Such is the stuff of being alive. The world itself is a dream.
Oprah is but one of many thousands of merchants of Fulfillment. They thrive in hard times and these are hard times. I want to go "tut tut" and say "Shame on you for exploiting the frustration and gullibility of your clients."
It seems to me that the big-time sellers of Dream Fulfillment Technology are making a lot more money than their customers. That's why the cover of "O" magazine gives me the creeps.
I realize that Oprah has supported many great causes, given a host of writers their defining break and has represented a general movement towards positive awareness. It's the cult of personality that bothers me. I wouldn't be surprised at the establishment of a Dalai-lama style lineage so that in a thousand years we may be addressing the Fourteenth Oprah as she descends from her hover-carpet to bless the multitudes. I hope that she will be a crotchety old black broad with a whip-sharp tongue and no patience for fools.
Tuesday, July 14, 2015
Hell On Wheels: A Review of the AMC epic Western
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Anson Mount: The Glare |
"Hell On Wheels" is the name of the shanty town at the end of the railroad tracks. It's 1868 and The Union Pacific is spear-heading construction of the rails using teams of newly freed blacks and Irish laborers. The "town", a hodge podge of tents and important wooden buildings like the saloon, the casino and the whore house, get up and move every couple of months as the tracks continue their extension across Nebraska. Coming East from California is the Central Pacific's railroad. It is being built by an army of Chinese workers. They have already crossed the Sierra Nevada and are headed for the Rocky Mountains. Railroad men of various ethnic identities are digging, tunneling, blasting, dying and being ruthlessly exploited by a small cadre of robber barons who pull strings from distant offices in St. Louis, Chicago, Washington D.C. and New York City.
Nearer to hand are a tier of middle managers working from Denver and Omaha. At the very tip of the spear, right where the tracks are being laid into the mud and rock, is Cullen Bohannan. He is played with great conviction by actor Anson Mount. Bohannan is at various times Chief Engineer, common laborer, independent contractor and Head Of Railroad Police for the Union Pacific. His knowledge and drive make him indispensable to builders of railroads.
Bohannon was a Colonel in the Confederate Army. While he was fighting battles distant from home, his family was murdered by pillaging Yankee soldiers. Bohannon has a long and violent history. He has a rage for revenge and a relentless drive to build railroad tracks better and faster than the competition. This obsession with the track is Cullen's way of sublimating his grief and wrath.
Here you have the setting for an epic Western television series. "Hell On Wheels" is uneven but when it's good it's fantastic. Even when it's not good it's not bad. It's just slow and a bit broad, with bouts of over-acting and a little taste of corn. Much of this over-acting is done by veteran actor Colm Meany, who plays Charles Durant, the putative owner of the Union Pacific. I use the word putative because in the course of the plot, ownership of rail stocks switches hands, and is otherwise manipulated without scruples. Colm Meany's Durant is a smarmy con man and ruthless survivor whose railroad is the object of numerous baits and switches, shell games, pyramid schemes and hand-buzzer jokes. He can simultaneously occupy a jail cell and rule a business empire. He's a man who wears a fine frock coat and beaver hat but he doesn't mind walking in the mud and he'll pick up a rifle or pistol if the occasion calls for it. Overdone? Yes, but entertaining as hell.
![]() |
Colm Meany's Durant: always a scumbag,occasionally an ally |
Anson Mount is an actor well suited to play a Western Hero. He's got one of those faces that wears a look of passionate indifference. This only sounds paradoxical until you see how he has mastered the skank-eye glare with which he regards his enemies. He has murdered those Yankees directly responsible for killing his family. He drinks, gambles and whores with the ruck and muck yet he earns their absolute loyalty because he gets the railroad built. He is fair with his men. He does the same work. He is right where the track ends, where it is being built yet another mile across the plains and headed towards the mountains. He wears a gun belt, jeans, boots, a leather vest and a straight brimmed black hat.
"Hell On Wheels" is gripping. It has a raft of finely crafted villains. "The Swede" is a murderous yet subtle psychopath who never seems to die. Just when we think he's been disposed of, he reappears. Our celebration has been premature. Hang him, burn him alive, throw him off a bridge, run him through with a spear: the monster keeps returning, with his huge eyes and his way of saying "mm.hmm" with his finger tapping his cheek.
![]() |
The Swede cleaning off the gore |
![]() |
Swede, aka Thor Gundersen, a very scary man |
I give "Hell On Wheels" four muskrats, one for each of the seasons so far produced. There is a fifth and final season coming this year. Perhaps The Swede will be diced, sliced, sauteed, pureed, dried and ground into powder, then released into the vortex of an EF Five Tornado, to be absolutely sure that he doesn't turn up somewhere else. If he had been with The Donner Party he would have walked grinning down the Western Slope all chubby and with grease dripping from his lips.
Monday, June 1, 2015
Saving Grace: A Review of the TV Series
![]() |
This image beautifully captures the character of Detective Grace Hanadarko |
Holly Hunter has never been on my radar before I saw her in the role of detective Grace Hanadarko in the series, "Saving Grace".
I give it four muskrats. It's really a three and a half muskrat series but I'll throw in another half because there's so much worthless crap around. And there's Laura SanGiacomo. She plays the most adorable forensic coroner working in the TV/Cop world.
The cop show genre is tired. There are so many redundant procedurals about catching bad guys. Do we need another one? "Saving Grace" is distinctive because its premise is hewn out of a metaphysical absurdity. It takes this crazy premise and carries it with gusto through three seasons. That's an achievement worth noting.
The premise, (we can even call it a gimmick) is simple enough. Detective Hanadarko is driving drunk, speeding in her unwashed Porsche 911 down a dark deserted street when she hits and kills a man who has appeared as if from nowhere.
She leans over the body and wails, "Oh God, Oh God, what have I done? Please help me!"
Suddenly the man is gone, there's no blood on the concrete, no damage to her car. It's as if it never happened.
Grace has experienced an intervention. The agent of this intervention is an Angel, literally an Angel, with retractable wings, shaggy grey hair and a weathered face that is full of kindness. His name is Earl and his function is to serve as a "Last Chance Angel". Does Grace believe this? Of course not. Earl whisks her to a promontory at the Grand Canyon, performs a few other casual miracles and returns her to the site of the accident.
Saving Grace is set in Oklahoma City. We are never allowed to forget that the bombing of The Murrah Building is for Oklahomans an equivalent to 9/11 for most other Americans. Everyone in the The Violent Crimes Unit lost a loved one or a friend in that heinous crime and it is still very much alive in Oklahoma culture.
The Violent Crimes Unit is filled with unruly cops, all of whom are either having sex with Grace, will have sex with Grace, or want to have sex with Grace. For Hunter this is a great role, a vehicle for her acting chops and she inhabits the character effortlessly and with total conviction. She has a distinctive way of speaking, as if she is whistling through the side of her mouth. I don't think this is an affectation. It may be more of a symptom, but that's none of my business. It doesn't harm Hunter's effectiveness.
The Violent Crimes Unit is filled with unruly cops, all of whom are either having sex with Grace, will have sex with Grace, or want to have sex with Grace. For Hunter this is a great role, a vehicle for her acting chops and she inhabits the character effortlessly and with total conviction. She has a distinctive way of speaking, as if she is whistling through the side of her mouth. I don't think this is an affectation. It may be more of a symptom, but that's none of my business. It doesn't harm Hunter's effectiveness.
Hunter is a tiny person. She is like a petite thoroughbred race horse, every muscle rippling with purpose. She moves with sexy arrogance, tossing her mane of hair with a trademark twitch, striding through the world in her hippie clothes and cowboy boots. As Grace she is a very naughty girl, a sex addict, an alcoholic, a disturber-of-shit. It's amazing that she hasn't been fired but she's always teetering on the brink of disaster with Internal Affairs. Her raunchy provocation keeps the cops in her unit in a pheromone ferment. She's having an affair with her partner/cop. This is flirting with personal and professional suicide. Cop/Partner/Boyfriend is jealous of every other cop who might have been or will be involved with Grace, hence the constant outbreak of boyish fistfights in the squad's office. Fortunately for Grace, the unit is commanded by a loyal friend, Captain Kate Perry, played with assurance by Lorraine Toussaint.
The series begins with an adequate episode. It works well enough to keep me around to see more. It gains momentum and the characters emerge in ways that are appealing. The Violent Crimes Unit is a family. It behaves dysfunctionally but one thing can be said: these are not corrupt cops. They may be drunk, jealous, their personal lives in chaos, but these cops aren't dirty. They are very good at their jobs. In spite of their screwy milieu, they solve crimes.
Leon Rippy, playing Earl, The Last Chance Angel, is a pillar in the structure of the story arc. He pushes no religious agenda, he's strictly non-denominational.
It's easy to see that the cast and crew of "Saving Grace" had a wonderful time working on the project. When such chemistry evolves in a film or TV series, it's palpable and it makes the viewing that much more rewarding. I enjoyed "Saving Grace" for its sense of family, for the obvious devotion that the characters had for one another, for Earl's angelic mischief. There's a lot of good stuff here.
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