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Monday, March 28, 2016

About The Gods Of The Gift, my Fantasy Novel





            It was in the late seventies.  I turned right onto Third Street in San Rafael and my inner vision exploded with a scene.  I was seeing a huge monastic building like a Tibetan lamasery.  Think of The Potala.  Here was this enormous structure flying in the air, floating away from the ground trailing roots and boulders.  It seemed to be headed towards a moon that was chartreuse and hovered above the monastery in a kind of leering way, sinister.  Then a voice began speaking.  Never mind what it was saying.  It was talking inside my head.  Like dictation.  It was describing things like Destiny; the way Destiny is determined by the thoughts of the one who thinks.  Yes yes, very metaphysical. 
            I drove home listening to this voice describing a system of discipline, a system that corresponded to what I know of Tibetan Tantric practice.  I know very little about Tibetan Tantric practice.  I have a clue, that's all.
            A book grew from this vision and this voice.  At the time I was flush from my recent award from Playboy Magazine and my agent gave the manuscript to an editor and when I was in New York we discussed the book.  The agent, Scott Meredith, moved the book around from publisher to publisher for a year.  There were no takers. 
            Lucky me. It would have been a tragedy to have published that book in 1980.  I take decades to write my books.  They are like big oak trees.  They need time to develop.
The Gods Of The Gift has changed so much over the years that it has become a real grown-up book.  It's a book for grown-ups.  It' a book that will be most enjoyed by people who've spent some time reading esoteric stuff like Rudolph Steiner, Madame Blavatsky, Annie Besant.  The old school mystics. Gurdjieff, Ouspensky.  Most of those books are dense, turgid and old fashioned.  The Gods Of The Gift should be fun, even though it's loaded with subtle information and the science part of it is completely crazy. 
            You don't have to be an Adept of The Secret Doctrine to get enjoyment from this book.  It follows many Fantasy and Sci Fi conventions.  There's the Pinocchio Theme. A race of Androids yearns to be human.  But these androids, or as I call them, Robiots, know they're not human.  They call themselves New Sentients.  They were originally made to perform work but somewhere along the way a few of them started tinkering with their own nervous systems and found that emotion was possible and even desirable.  That's one of my classic Sci Fi themes.  I've got astrophysics galore, Black Holes, all that stuff.  The book is as much influenced by Kurosawa films as it is by metaphysical lore.  There are sword fights, kidnappings, cosmic gangsters and quasi-immortals called Planet-People.  These are avatars from the Starwind Communion.  When their civilization was doomed they decided to emigrate by squishing all the individuals from each planet into one body.  So one hundred eight worlds became one hundred eight Planet-People.  One of them, Calakadon, was a rogue and a murderer.  He is the book's main bad guy.  He's murdering the other one hundred seven of his kindred and stealing their Puzzle Pieces.   These objects are precious beyond knowing.  They will some day be assembled into The Puzzle Of The Endless Gates.  Here is another Buddhist concept, in case you've never heard that mantra: Gate Gate Beyond The Gate Another Gate----Bodhisattva.

So click on over to my other siteArthur Rosch Books, then click on the book title and download
a copy.  Enjoy.

Monday, March 21, 2016

Game Of Thrones: Is it Toxic?

Peter Dinklage
My wife and I watched this series, all five available seasons, in one big gory splurge.  Maybe that was our mistake.  It is addictive viewing, it has memorable characters and every episode ends with a cliff-hanger.
            I'll be candid and admit that we have been in an emotional slump.  My wife and I have had a difficult year.  That being said, perhaps it wasn't a good idea to expose ourselves to such villainy and gore.  I can imagine that viewing this series one episode at a time might be less harrowing.  But who does that?  Are you kidding?  In this age of Streaming?
            Nah!  Binge viewing is the thing we do.  Doesn't everybody grab a series and watch every episode, one after another?  Don't deny it.  TV isn't a guilty pleasure any more. TV is survival, an alternate reality in which to hide from our terrifying world.
            Game of Thrones is High Fantasy.  It has the medieval world-set, the armor, weapons, horses, castles, all that stuff that goes into High Fantasy.  It has dragons, magical creatures and a looming menace that evokes our own present-day world with its apocalyptic terrors.  As we watched we found that our depression began taking on a more vicious edge.  Our dreams were disturbed.  My wife muttered curses in the night and I went on a sleepwalking excursion, standing at the window waiting for some demon to creep into our home to steal our souls.
            As a writer I must always ask a question of the story I'm writing: Is this story worth being told?  If I apply that yardstick to Game of Thrones, I'm not sure it passes muster.  Without the genius of Peter Dinklage playing "the imp" I wouldn't have gotten sucked into the plot.  Acting is an interesting process to watch.  Great actors take good roles and define them for all history.  Dinklage will hereafter always be known for his Tyrion Lannister role.  Before Tyrion he was a famous dwarf and an actor.  Now he is far more famous and completely identified with his character.  No one cares that he has short legs.  He has earned RESPECT.  He carried Game of Thrones on his talent.  The series is unimaginable without the work of Peter Dinklage. 
            There were so many beheadings, throat slittings, impalings, knives to the gut, arrows through the throat, squished eyeballs, spear thrusts through-and-through that it became like a creeping poison, leaking from the TV screen and crawling along the margins of the room, heading straight for our vulnerable psyches.  We have no one to blame but ourselves.  No one forced us to watch this wretched excess of medieval mayhem.  We watched.  We were sick with flu, flattened with fibro, fucked up with gastric distress, hamstrung with hernia....and we watched ten thousand extras get squashed by rocks and broiled with flaming oil.  Oh, what a violent series!  Add a healthy dollop of perfect naked titties and asses, muscular adolescent boys all frolicking with one another and whaddayaknow?  It's really all sex and violence, tits and ass.  I can imagine the producer shouting on the set:  "Did we book enough tits today?  We're running out of tits!  You, boy!" he points to a Production Assistant.  "Go find some asses, get out there on Sunset and round up a few dozen nice tits.  Get some handsome boys while you'r'e at it...make sure they're eighteen and have them sign their releases."
            Game Of Thrones.  It was a relief when Season Five ended.  We'd had enough.  It was like eating a whole bag of miniature Reeses Pieces.  It made us sick.
It was delicious when we started.  Then it got a little cloying but we couldn't stop.  Then we wanted to puke and still we couldn't stop.  It was crazy!  Get us to some Hallmark Entertainment, or....some Disney.  No, wait.  When you look deeply enough into Disney you find shit that's even more creepy than Game Of Thrones.

Friday, March 18, 2016

My Book Web Site



I have a new web site dedicated to selling my books.  By next week there will be three books on offer: my autobiographical novel (Confessions Of An Honest Man), my RV/memoir and my fantasy/Sci fi epic.  The link is Books By Arthur Rosch.  Click on through, o legion of fans, and put yourself on my email list.

Thanks!

Tuesday, March 8, 2016

Dilemma: Love In The Age Of Hippies

Checked Out By Aliens

Ah, youth.  I had some interesting experiences in the sixties, living in Marin County.This story came to me in a bank of memories over coffee a couple of days ago.  It said "Write me, write me!"  Who am I to defy the command of the writer's muse, no matter how arcane or silly the subject matter?  Actually, I like this story a lot.



1967.  Muir Beach, California

            Robert had taken LSD three hours ago and now he was trapped in the bathroom.  It was a small bathroom in a small beach house.  The place looked out over the Pacific Ocean and could only be reached by climbing a hundred and fifty wooden steps or riding a cable-driven cargo trolley.  The place belonged to Linda, Robert's acquaintance, a woman who made tie dye and batik clothing.
            Robert wasn't a casual taker of psychedelic drugs, but he was with good people: yoga practitioners, Tai Chi enthusiasts.  He felt safe.  His friend Pam was at the party, and so was his room mate Steve.
            It was an intimate gathering, about a dozen people agreeing to share an experience in a beautiful setting.  Linda dispensed a tab of LSD to each arrival.  Now it was getting towards evening and the group had settled into serious tripping.  There was a bit of quiet talk.  Some giggles from a couple on the sofa.  It was quiet.  The sound of the surf tumbled in the background.
            Robert was VERY high but when nature called, she could not be denied.  He viewed the act of taking a shit as a comedic episode, a meeting of the sacred and profane.  He made a little mantra from it, mentally chanting the words to a samba beat: how could a thing so huge..still have to take a poo.  The Huge was himself, in his expanded universe, the hyper-galactic infinite divine.  And yet, way way down there in the microcosmic world, his body still had to eliminate the dross from his small intestine.  It all came down to the most common things.
            The bathroom was a cubby hole.  It had a toilet, a small window and a wooden stand that held an incense burner and a couple of magazines.  An old tarnished mirror hung on the wall opposite the throne.
            Before the toilet episode began, Robert had been watching Linda move about, with her bun of blonde hair trailing cute little wisps.  She wore a sleeveless batik dress of luminous green and a necklace of silver and turquoise.  Robert liked the shape of her.  She was well toned, contained in a nice little parcel of soft firmness.  Her breasts lifted the neckline of the dress and the effect was mesmerizing.  Linda was single, Linda was beautiful, and Linda had given him a smile as she dispensed the tablet of LSD.  Robert interpreted this smile as an invitation.  He thought Linda was conveying a message.  "Ask me to make love," he thought she was beaming at him, "ask me."
            The problem.... that is, the problem before getting trapped in the bathroom, was working up the nerve to ask Linda to make love.  Other couples were pairing up and vanishing into various nooks on the property, riding the sound of the mighty surf into psychedelic splendor. 
            The party's social math, the indices of affinity seemed to put Robert and Linda together.  Robert had never done this kind of thing before.  He had never approached a woman to ask if she wanted to "go somewhere quiet".  The complexities of an LSD high built a scaffold atop Robert's shyness.  How do I do that? he wondered, how do I come right out and ask a woman to make love?  He wondered and feared, and wondered and feared, and tried to engage Linda in pleasant conversation but an acid conversation can be very weird.  There are multiple interpretations layered on every word and phrase.
            If he said, "Hi," well, okay, there you go.  Was he greeting her or was he making an insipid observation on his state of psychic elevation? 
            "You're beautiful" he said, at one point.  "You look stunning in that dress."  That was not ambiguous.  Linda merely said "Thank You" and the conversation jumped off a cliff and went splat.  If only she would make things easier for him!  Maybe he was wrong.  Maybe she didn't send the signal he thought she sent.  But her fingers had lingered on his hand as she offered him the purple tablet.  She had given him a deep soulful look.
            Then his stomach sent him another kind of signal.  The bathroom was directly off the one large room of the house.  The room was virtually the entire living space.  There was a counter, a kitchenette, and a short fight of stairs that led to a loft bedroom. A thin plywood door separated the bathroom from everything else. 
            Robert's poo was a loose disgusting mess and he was about to turn the flush handle when the thought occurred to him: what if the sound of the toilet flushing sends someone into a bad trip? Or worse, what if it sends EVERYONE into a bad trip?. 
            The house was high on the bluff and the toilet flushed with a distinct sound as the water forcefully drained.  Sploosh! it said, splodda splodda splodda splodda, and all the pipes in the house rumbled and whooshed for what seemed hours.
            Everyone is so high! Robert thought.  If I suddenly introduce these sounds with all their associations, they will drown out the Ravi Shankar on the record player and they will enter people's LSD-saturated inner landscapes as a downward spiral that will carry them into the underworld!  People on acid are so suggestible!  I'll ruin the party!
            He couldn't look at the poo.  He had closed the lid and was frantically using a National Geographic to fan the fumes outside.  He was on the verge of puking, which would add another dimension to his problem.  There was a box of incense and a pack of matches, which he now used as he attempted to work his way out of this mess.
            What am I going to do?  What am I going to do?
            Another part of Robert's psyche was laughing at him, saying, oh this is pathetic, you're wasting your whole fucking trip on idiotic paranoia.  Robert fought back.  It's unselfish paranoia! he replied.  I just don't want to send anyone down the toilet. Acid's unpredictable.  It can be a catalyst for deeply buried psychic material.  I can't take that chance!.
            It seemed that hours passed.  Robert fanned fumes out the window, lit incense, lit matches until the pack was gone.  There finally came a breaking point.
            Fuck this, Robert decided.  It's inevitable.  I have to flush the toilet.  He reached out and touched the cold metal handle with its contoured shape.  He caressed it for a moment.  Then, in an act of passionate courage, he pressed down and released the water.
            Sploosh!  Oh god it was deafening!  Splodda splodda splodda, down down and down into the depths of the netherworld.  The pipes went Whhhsssssh like Boeing 707's lining up on a runway before takeoff.  There were at least eight people just a few feet away from this sonic extravaganza.  They might tear him to pieces when he emerged.  He had bummed their trip!  They might ostracize him forever, banish him from other weekend retreats at other beautiful houses full of beautiful women.
            His heart was beating frantically.  Okay, he decided, let's face the consequences of my irresistible evacuation.  Robert turned the knob and exited the bathroom, closing the door with the barest of clicks.
            It was almost dark.  Ravi Shankar 's music came gently through the hi fi speakers, playing an evening raga.  Candles were lit and most of the group sat rocking to and fro, lying on beanbag chairs or prone on yoga mats.  Nothing had happened as a result of Robert's flush.  Nothing at all.
            A candle had been set in the middle of the room.  Linda was alone on a cushion, sitting in yoga posture, meditating on the flickering light..  Her eyes were open and seemed radiant and enormous.  She glanced at Robert without reproach.  The whole episode had passed without a ripple, merely a product of Robert's self-conscious agony.
            What the hell, he thought, just do it.  He found a cushion and sat next to Linda, replicating her full lotus, displaying his credentials as a yogi.  His feet rested easily on his thighs and his spine straightened as he gathered the nerve to approach this gorgeous woman.
            Linda's shoulder looked velvety in the candle light.  Robert gently put his fingers on her body, just the four tips of the fingers of his right hand, touching her oh so lightly.  He watched Linda's response.  She didn't flinch or move away from him.  Nor did she move towards him.  She was set in her own center.  That's okay, Robert thought.  That's okay.  Again, his heart beat fast, his stomach turned over with anxiety.  I've got to do this, he urged himself.  I've got to break through my fear.  You get nothing when you don't ask.  So just ask while you have the chance.
            "Linda," he said, "You're beautiful.  Your skin is amazing."
            She smiled a subtle little smile but remained facing forward.  Robert was about to commit himself but he realized that he hadn't prepared his words.  How should he put it?  "Linda, will you make love with me?"  Or more commanding.  "Linda, make love with me."  That might seem too aggressive.  How about "I would love to make love to you, Linda."  Oh, that was clumsy.  Love to make love.  Oh fuck it.  He leaned close to her and quietly spoke into her ear.  "Linda, love make me, oh, uh, you know, I really dig you, um, um, this is hard.  What I mean to say is I want you to make love to you.  I mean me..I want.to make love to you.  There!  Whew!"
            Linda's head turned with agonizing slowness.  The huge shining eyes rotated until they met Robert's eyes.  She was a sacred dakini, a deva, a goddess!
            "Robert," she said, "you're sweet, but you're just not my type."
            Robert squeezed the pillow, almost pulling it out from under himself.  "Okay, okay, that's cool, I understand that, it's just that, well, okay....thanks."
            He stood up holding the pillow in front of his body, then dropped it back to the floor and walked onto the deck.  He could see the last of the sun's rays as they vanished into the starry night.  His vulnerable heart opened and he wept.  He was so sad.  He was so lonely.  Everyone else had a lover.  
          Well, that wasn't true.  There were people here who seemed perfectly content with their own company.  There was Allison, there was Dave.  They were sitting, watching, tripping.  Now that he thought about it, Allison had been beaming desire signals at him all evening.  There was no mistaking the meaning of those lingering gazes.  He had ignored them.  She was nice, but she wasn't......uh...his type.  She was a little too Jewish.  Robert was a Jew boy and had to have himself some Shicksa, oh yes he did....
          He winced at his own self-evaluation.  It was true, but he was as he was.  Maybe, some day, an Allison would look mighty good.
            He lifted his eyes to the sky and saw The Milky Way for the first time.  He had never understood that this THING hovered over his head, arching across the heavens in such primordial splendor.  Amazing!  The sky was the most beautiful thing he had ever seen.  . 
           After a time, as he watched the stars, he realized that at last he was free from all the ridiculous bullshit he had just put himself through.  Afraid to flush a toilet.  Afraid to ask a girl. God!  The universe was such a spectacular place! He didn't have to hook up with Linda.  He didn't have to hook up with anyone. He was fine, right here.  Robert and the sky, right here.

Monday, January 4, 2016

Breeding Hearts

This is the first draft of what I hope will become a series of novels.  It's only two days old, so bear with me.




         

         Something didn't smell right.  It smelled too good, like oatmeal cookies, or  vanilla air freshener.  We were standing in the foyer of a large house, one of those ostentatious mansions that sprout like mushrooms in fields that were once filled with rows of artichoke plants or almond trees. 
            It should have smelled like dogs.  It needn't reek of dog but there would always be a certain doggie fug in the house of a breeder.  Lydia and I were here on a surprise inspection.  If this place was a puppy mill, as we suspected, it wouldn't smell like oatmeal cookies.  It would smell like damp fur and a little bit of shit and piss.  There would be the scent of animal stress, which smells the same no matter what the breed.  Abused animals give off a distinctive odor that is layered over with a psychic miasma of terror. 
            I looked at Lydia, who is her own special breed of sensor.  Lydia's face registered complete horror.  She was trying to keep herself together, but her special senses also burden her with a special fragility.  Lydia can empathize with other creatures with visceral accuracy.  The job was hard on her.  She kept working, in spite of the pain.
            I showed my credentials to the oriental lady who stood squarely in front of us, just inside the door.  I had a police Lieutenant's badge and an I.D. card that identified me as Lucas Holbein, Field Agent for Viera County Animal Control And Safety.  I was a County Sheriff.  Never mind how I got into working cases busting puppy mills and rescuing starving horses..  This was my work, my vocation.  My fellow cops called me "Doogie".  I didn't care.
            "Mrs. Yu," I said to the tall woman who blocked our way into the house.  "We're here on an informal visit.  I do not have a warrant.  I would appreciate your cooperation."
            There was a smugness to Mrs.Yu that told me this was no surprise.  Someone had tipped her that we were coming.  If this was a puppy mill, it had been cleaned up and the dogs had been silenced. 
            "Yes, please come.  You are welcome to house."  She almost pranced but there was a tightness to her gait that shouted "I AM HIDING THINGS FROM YOU!"
            Another glance towards Lydia.  She had got her composure back but her nostrils were twitching and her eyebrows almost met at the bridge of her nose.  She was very upset.  Already.
            The living room was dimly lit and the furniture was covered in clear plastic.  There were plastic runners on the floor.  Paintings on the wall were the kind purchased for ten bucks a shot at flea markets.  Floral still lifes.  Horses in a field.  A dilapidated boat dock with picturesque little skiffs. 
            "I would like to look around, Mrs. Yu.  I would like to see your basement, garage and back yard.  I can return with a warrant if necessary."
            "All you like, look. I only do not want you in my personal bedroom.  That door, on left down hall." Her hand described an arc of inclusiveness.  Her palm was facing downward, a gesture I had learned was an evasive "tell".  Palm up: not hiding.  Palm down: hiding.  I heard a door open, then close.  A man appeared.  A big guy with very hard looking hands.  A stream of Mandarin flowed from his mouth towards Mrs. Yu. Lydia's ears twitched.  Lydia spoke Mandarin, Japanese and Russian.  She didn't advertise this fact.
            The man interposed himself between us and Mrs. Yu. I showed the man my card and badge.  He nodded. "I am Mister Yu.  My wife not very much English," he said. The man projected sheer cold menace. "Is complaint about dogs?  You listen: not noise!"
            In fact I could hear faint whimpering.  This sound of distress hung like smoke draping itself across the textured ceiling. Otherwise, the place didn't sound like a breeder's premises.  When breeders treat their dogs with respect there is always a cacophony of rambunctious animals.  It was the quiet places that scared me.  I had seen awful things in big quiet houses out in the suburbs.
            "I'd like to see the back yard, please," I said. Mr. Yu went first, then Lydia and I followed. Mrs.Yu fell in behind us.  All the doors were closed.  The house was sepulchral.  We passed through the kitchen and there was a tell tale assortment of utensils.  I saw cauldrons, kettles and large ladles. A floor-standing commercial mixer stood next to a double-sized refrigerator. This house didn't look lived-in. It looked like a factory.
            The door to the garage led off from the kitchen. Just as Mr. Yu was about to turn the knob, his cell phone rang.  He looked at the caller I.D., then said "Ni Hao!"  Our procession paused.  A string of Mandarin flowed from Mr. Yu.  He turned his back to us and took four steps away, into the center of the kitchen.  His voice went low, private.  Unfortunately for Mr. Yu, Lydia has ears like a bat.  She looked off into space but I'll swear her ears became pointed. 
            The conversation lasted half a minute.  Mr. Yu returned, smiling with feigned embarrassment.  "Business call," he said.  Lydia threw me a look.  She had heard something important.
            The large back yard was filled with stacks of black-wired cages.  They were under green canvas canopies.  They stood in an "L" shaped arrangement with room between each stack for a human to gain access to the cage doors.  There were forty cages and about half of them were occupied.  They were inhabited exclusively by toy poodles.  I counted four litters of pups.  They were snuggled up to their mothers' teats, some of them wiggling to get hold, some of them sound asleep.  The other cages held single puppies of various shades.  Black, brown, white and a few pups that were a distinctive pearly taupe.
            This would have been a reasonably acceptable scene but for one odd characteristic: almost all of the dogs were asleep.  They lay with their heads on their forepaws, or curled in a ball.  Some showed eyes that were half open in a hynotized daze. A few cropped tails wagged.  A few tongues stuck out.  There was nothing of canine vitality on display.  Any breeder of any stripe, anywhere, would have a yard full of barking excited dogs.  Visitors!  Yay!  That's what I would expect from twenty dogs.
The two sets of pups were just a few days old.  They lay against their bitches' bellies like they were dead.  I had to get up close, just to see signs of breath, of life.
            Mr.and Mrs. Yu were moving all around us, stiff like mannikins, bumping and pushing.  Mr. Yu gave me a pretty good buffet, which he tried to pretend was an accident.
The grins on their faces were qualified as "shit eating", excuse my language, but there's no other way to describe the falsity of their expressions.
            "What have you done to them?"  Lydia spoke softly but she was nonetheless howling.  I knew that Lydia already knew things that were still obscure to me.  Lydia's intuition often put her two or three steps ahead of me.
            "They sleep!" protested Mrs. Yu.  "It just exercise.  Tired dogs. Very tired."  She pointed at the gear in the yard.  There was the usual assortment of mesh tunnels, ramps, hurdles.  Toys were scattered everywhere.  The turf was almost barren of grass, with divots poking out and  signs of digging and scuffling.  The fence was perfect.  It was a six foot high barrier of twelve inch pine slats.  Each slat terminated in two points.  At the base of the fence was a concrete footing, eight inches or so.  Nothing was going to dig its way under this fence.  None of the neighbors could see anything.
            "I would like to take a blood sample," I said, and produced a syringe and a rubber tie from my coat pocket.  This brought what I expected from the Yu's: protest.  "No blood!  Leave dogs to sleep!" Mrs. Yu did her stiff marionette dance in front of me while her husband approached from my right side.  He did the "accidental" buffet again, but I was ready for him and I was so set in my stance that I didn't budge an inch.  The man almost bounced off of me. 
            Lydia had disappeared.  She had a knack for being somewhere and then not being somewhere.  She possessed a native quietude that made her innately stealthy. People often overlooked her vanishing because they had barely noticed her in the first place.  I walked towards one of the cages that housed a nursing female.  Mr.Yu put himself in my way.  Mrs. Yu laughed an empty sound.  I needed to keep them busy.  I put my hand on a cage latch and Mr. Yu clamped his hand around my wrist.  His grip was like an iron band.
            "You stop!" he said. "No warrant. No search."
            "Look," I said, keeping anger out of my voice.  I did not want confrontation. "I don't see anything that's a flagrant violation.  Your dogs look healthy. I'm just curious about this lack of energy."  In fact, the dogs did not look healthy.  Their gums were pale. Their coats were dull. Some were panting, others looked almost dead.  This was, to all appearances, a kennel of drugged canines.  The two nursing mother dogs looked far too old to be having litters.  One of them was going grey in the muzzle.  The other was emaciated.  I had to keep my feelinngs out of this situation.  It wouldn't help me handle the Yus.  I needed to give Lydia time to scope out the real kennel, the stuff behind closed doors.
            Lydia had gone back through the kitchen and down the first available hallway.  All the doors were locked.  The bathroom door was not locked but a scan of the medicine cabinet showed empty shelves.  Drawers contained some floss and a bottle of Ibuprofen. 
Lydia tried a door that was narrow: a utility closet.  It was locked.  Under her coat she wore a photographer's field vest.  From one of its pockets she produced her little pick set and had the door open in a second.  There was a tiny aquarium on a shelf.  It was about the size of a shoe box. Tubes ran from an IV bottle and led to the creature that was imprisoned in this tiny container.  Lydia's heart was already pounding with fear.  She had long ago accepted the fact that she could not separate her own emotions from the emotions that swirled around her world.  It was a kind of Hell and she was doing everything possible to live and serve while in this Hell.  It was also the reason for keeping her personal life simple and reserved for other humans who were emotionally stable.
            She saw the creature's eyes, staring out from a ball of dark brown poodle hair.  Poodles don't have fur, as such.  They have distinctive curly hair that retains its growing period indefinitely.  This little pup was nothing but a pair of eyes mounted on a round tumbleweed of hair.  There was an IV drip descending from an upper shelf.  It ran through a hole in the container's lid and was attached to the puppy, somewhere in that mass of hyperactive follicles. Lydia examined the label. It was a used drip bag, crumpled and folded, then unfolded.  The label had been scrubbed but Lydia could read the letters "P-H-E", then there was a washed out place, and the script continued, revealing the letters "B-A-R-B".  It was a piece of information but it was flawed as a clue. She had no idea what drug or drugs were being used on the poor little guy. In spite of the chemical cocktail it was being fed, the dog's eyes were alive with desperation.  Lydia heard a voice as distinctly as if it was being spoken into her ear.
            "Get me out of here!" the voice pleaded.  "I'm going crazy!"
            She didn't have to think about it.  She peeled the lid back and groped for the place where the IV needle was attached.  She knew the needle would be as fine as a copper wire.  She found it, taped to the dog's right front leg.  As gently as possible, she removed the tape and pulled the needle out.  It started to drip and she popped it against the sheet rock wall until it bent closed.  Then she picked the puppy up.  It was so light!  It was no heavier than a baby finch.  This meshed with the phrases of Mandarin she had heard Mr. Yu speak into the telephone.  "Tiny," he said it as if boasting.  "Very very tiny.  Fit in teacup!"
            A teacup poodle.  The smallest poodle breed.  She knew that the oriental market prized these tiny dogs and would pay four or five thousand dollars for a poodle that weighed less than six pounds at maturity.  The dog in her hand may not have weighed a pound, if that.  His nose was so foreshortened that the tip of his tongue didn't fit all the way into his mouth.  A little pink curl of knobbed flesh stuck out from between his teeth.
Lydia put him inside her coat.  She used a blade in her lock kit to cut out an approximation of the dog made from her coat lining.  She put that brown lining inside the glass cage and laid the IV tube within its curls.  She replaced the lid and closed the door. 
            She listened carefully.  She heard the whimpering, the near inaudible frequency of suffering.  The dog inside her coat snugged himself to her heart and remained quiet. She felt his little warmth against her sweater, checked that he was able to breathe, and closed the closet door. 
            Lucas was still distracting the Yus in the back yard.  Lydia looked for the basement door.  It was at the end of the hall.  She picked the lock, opened the door.  The lights were on and there were fans turning. As she descended a few steps the contents of the basement came into view.  Shelves were filled with identical glass cages.  There were IV bags dripping into most of the puppies who were confined.  The whole scheme revealed itself. Tiny dogs generate huge profits. Rich Chinese, Korean and Japanese competed with one another to own the smallest dogs. The Yus applied a ruthless logic.  How do you prevent a puppy from growing?  Deprive it of exercise, feed it drugs to keep it docile, confine it to a tiny cage.  At eight weeks you clean up the dog, give it a haircut, take a photo and ship to the customer.  All sales final.  It's in the contract's small print.  Many dogs die in transit.  Those that survive are probably crazy.  It was a scam.
            She used her cell phone to call Lucas.  He picked up, listening. 
            "I'm in the basement.  It's unbelievable.  Get a warrant.  Pretend you're cool with them, or they'll be gone by tomorrow.  There must be fifty puppies down here and...." she almost sobbed.  "Just..just get a warrant.  We have to move on these people. Now!"
            Lucas kept his phone in his hand, palming it.  The situation had just escalated. 
In the basement, Lydia got out her digital camera and took two shots.  One was a wide angle that showed the scale of the place.  The other zoomed in to its limit, making an image of two glass cages that imprisoned two tiny hairy creatures that resembled nothing so much as characters from a Star Wars film.  They were Ewoks.  Minuscule, somnolescent Ewoks trapped in shoe-box sized aquariums and fed through IV tubes.
She sent these images to Lucas.  Then she returned upstairs, moving towards the back yard, hoping she could re-insert herself into the unfolding "inspection" as if she had been there all along. 
            Lucas walked towards another cage, putting a few steps distance from the looming Mr. Yu.  He glanced down at his phone.  One image, of a large basement filled with confined tiny puppies.  Another image, showing the IV drip and the two puppies who lay in their cages as if stunned, barely breathing.  He put his phone back in his pocket.  He returned his attention to the Yus, and saw Lydia emerge into the yard.  There was no noise to her footsteps.  She was, again, present.  Mrs. Yu gave her a look of profound mistrust.
            "You go somewhere?  You go into my house?" 
            Lydia pointed vaguely towards her personal anatomy.  "I had an emergency.  I needed to use your bathroom.  A female emergency."  She made a circle with her hand, indicating her abdominal regions.  The eyes of Mr. and Mrs. Yu locked briefly, then broke.
            Lucas needed to assuage their fears.  He flipped a few pages on the clipboard that he carried in an inner pocket of his rain coat.  "Okay, look."  He made some pen marks on the inspection form's top page. "Your dogs seem a little lethargic but I can't site you for a specific violation.  How about this?  Let's set up an appointment in..oh..about a week."  He gave a cautionary look to Lydia.  She was struggling to keep her emotions in check.  The priority was to keep the Yus from bolting, from pulling a couple of trucks into the driveway, loading up the animals and gear and relocating in one swift operation.  They had experience.  The profits to be made were enormous and the risk far less than dealing drugs.  The Yus might be, probably were, part of an organization.  There might be fifty or a hundred identical puppy mills set up in California and beyond. 
            He tore off the top sheet on his clip-board.  It was a yellow inspection form.  Lucas had written the basic information: the family name, "Yu".  Address, type of facility, number of dogs.  He had refrained from checking off any of the boxes.  Under comments he had written "Dogs display lethargic demeanor".
            Lydia was turned sideways to the rest of the group.  Lucas saw her glance down into her coat.  It lasted a fraction of a second.  A little bump moved under her breast.  He didn't think it was seen by the Yus.  It was time to get out of there.
            "Thank you very much, Mr. and Mrs. Yu," he said.  "I will give you a call some time this week and we can talk further, okay?"
            The anxious couple seemed to relax.  Their shoulders descended, as if they had been holding their breath and had finally let go.  "They must think I'm stupid," Lucas thought.  "At least I hope they think I'm stupid."
            "Yes, that fine," Mr. Yu used his bulk to move everyone towards a gate that opened from the side of the yard and led to the circular driveway where Lucas had parked his grey Ford Taurus.  It was a Sheriff's Department motor pool vehicle.  The symbol of Viera County surrounded the universal star of Law Enforcement.  Viera County was a place of lakes and vineyards. The graphic showed a paradise of up-scale agriculture and refined corridors of Redwood trees.  Lucas considered the County Coat Of Arms to be a ridiculous exercise in vanity.  A more appropriate assortment of Viera County's reality would have been a collage of marijuana plants, heroin syringes and half-built developments.
            He drove away from the Yu's house, rounding the corner and stopping under a copse of oak trees alongside an older house surrounded by a low white picket fence.  It was one of the few original dwellings that remained after the developers had bought up all the acreage along Crest Hill Road.  Now there were bulldozers and back hoes, working on properties that were parceled into one acre lots.  Half-built homes were in progress of becoming pretentious stucco and tile mansions identical to that in which the Yus kept their breeding enterprise.
            Lucas slipped the radio microphone from its clip.  Lydia opened her coat and a tiny head popped out.  "Oh jeez," Lucas blurted.  A female voice on the radio responded:
"Not the Christ, Lucas, sorry, just the same old Judy."
            "Sorry Judy, i just saw something that was...well, a surprise."
            "I hope the good kind," the dispatcher responded. 
            "Let's call it a mixed blessing.  Do we have anyone available to do surveillance?  Is there someone with a pulse out in the field that can spend a few hours watching a house?"
            "In Vikacks?"  She referred to acronym/nickname of Viera County Animal Control And Safety.  "You kidding?  Terrence is out in Santa Lucia where some horses ran all over the Pronzini Brothers vines.  And... hell.." This was pronounced "hail" in Judy Fellows Compton dialect.  "Hail no, but I try 'em all."
            It was the reality of VCACS budget.  There hadn't been any cuts because the agency had started at rock bottom after a prolonged political struggle between so-called "animal loving do-gooders" and conservative politicians

Monday, August 31, 2015

So You Think You Can Dance

Copyright 2015
Art Rosch




            "What's wrong with kids today?"
            This lament has been uttered by every generation  since Adam and Eve discovered they were pregnant a second time.
            So....what IS wrong with kids these days?
           They feel as if they have no future.  The last few extant generations simply don't.  Futures come in handy when you feel as though the world will be unrecognizable before you've grown up.  As a child of The Mushroom Cloud I know what that feels like, that amputation of the future. It made me really angry.  My friends and I were more likely to commit petty crimes and indulge in drugs.  Without a future, why bother?  Why work hard in school?  Why cultivate disciplines, interests, social connections?  The oceans are rising and will drown your block or your whole neighborhood.  The coolest animals will be extinct.  No elephants, no polar bears.  What kind of future is that?
            Then I discovered a TV show called "So You Think You Can Dance".  You can knock me over with what these kids are doing!  Their bodies must be INCREDIBLY strong and flexible.  These kids are doing the impossible!  Has the human race mutated?  Do we have extra joints, super-human muscle memory? Who ARE these people?
            They're just kids.  Their secret is that they found a passion, something that interested them so much that they said "fuck it" to the absence of the future and decided to live for this thing called Dance.  It was better than being a thug.  Thugs are mean, WAY mean and being mean doesn't feel very good.  Not as good as practicing B-moves, Krumping, flapping, sapping, tapping, robot-twitching, water-waving, learning your body's capabilities and stretching them further, further, further!
            This is IT!  Sometimes it's called ART.  Don't be embarrassed by the word ART.  It's cool to do ART.  It's okay.  Even if it's gay it doesn't matter.  Nobody cares about gay any more.  You can be gay, you can change from man to woman or woman to man, nobody cares!  If you want to know where it is, where the cutting edge in creativity can be found these days you can see it on "So You Think You Can Dance".  The judges aren't scary.  They aren't there to cut you down.  They want to show you The Future.  Word up, Bro.  There IS a future.  Nobody can stop it.  It takes some work.  Everything good takes work. Making a future is hard work.  It's not like it used to be, when the Future was going to happen no matter what.  Now it takes a little faith and a lot of work, but it's there: you... DO...Have...A...Future.  Do you want it to kick you in the nuts or do you want to dance with it?
            When has anyone given a shit about choreoraphy?  Are you kidding?  Corey-who?  Shazam!  Choreographers are the composers of Dance.  They arrange the time-space-music continuum in which Dance exists.  On the TV show they are not only given credit, they are like stars!  Now I know the work of Tice Diorio, Mia Michaels, Sonya Tayeh, "Nappytab", Stacey Tookey and Travis Wall.  Choreographers come from the elder population of dancers.  They still dance but they are the keepers of the flame, the mentors of the seventeen through twenty two year old dancers who are living the dreams.
            I'm not sure there is any more difficult art form than what is now appearing as Dance.  It's not enough to specialize.  You can't be a ballroom dancer, a hip-hopper or a Broadway hoofer.  One of the messages of So You Think You Can Dance is that you must be trained in ALL the dance styles.  Choreographers wont' hire you if you don't know all the styles of dance. Choreographers are the Gate Keepers, the bosses, the ones who hire dancers.  Get tight with the choreographers who work at SYTYCD and you will be employed for years to come. In time, you will become a choreographer.
            The most amazing thing about the dance numbers on this show is their purity.  We're not seeing arrangements for pop superstars.  We're not seeing choreography for Taylor Swift or Michael Jackson (RIP).  These dance routines are created for the television audience.  For US!  Sometimes magic happens on that stage.  Those of you who watch the show know what I mean.  In ten years time this show has lifted the art of Dance so that each season is more amazing than the last.  The mutations continue.  Evolution is visible year to year.  Dancers get more flexible, their muscle memories become more detailed, malleable, imprintable.  This happens in front of our eyes.  Sure, it's a TV contest show aimed at a teenage demographic.  That's how things work.  Consider the difference between the egregious karaoke of American Idol and the drama and high art of So You Think You Can Dance.  Big difference, yeah?

            Big big difference.

Wednesday, August 26, 2015

Oprah And The Selling of Dream Fulfillment Technology






Oprah and The Selling of Dream Fulfillment Technology

            Every time I go to the supermarket I see "O" magazine displayed at the checkout stand and every issue of "O" magazine has a photo of Oprah Winfrey on its cover.  There is something disturbing about a person who puts herself on the cover of her own magazine month after month.  She can do what she wants with it, but we know what Oprah looks like by now and I feel a little embarrassed for her.  She could give us inspiring landscape photos or images of other worthy people.  Instead, we get a simple complacent message:"Look at me!  I'm Oprah.  I'm still young, slim and beautiful."  Even though she's not.
            If it's wisdom that I seek from the pages of "O" magazine, I would as soon discuss life with a REAL funky old black broad than with this promoter of the so-called Ideal Life.
            It takes only a brief glimpse at the titles of the articles to make me feel utterly shitty about myself.  I'm not losing weight.  I'm not making more money. I'm not getting younger.  My libido is vanishing.  My dreams haven't been fulfilled.  
            This last item, about dream fulfillment, is an arrow pointing into the center of Oprah's empire.  This uber-wealthy celebrity is selling what I call DREAM FULFILLMENT TECHNOLOGY.  She has become  rich and powerful peddling this stuff and the irony of it is this: there is no such thing as DREAM FULFILLMENT TECHNOLOGY.  There are various tools to help us cope better with life's stresses.  There are psychotherapy, meditation, exercise, nutrition and a raft of spiritual practices.  None of these, however, guarantees that dreams will come true.  Only a very few people, lucky or possessing a certain kind of karma, get to live their dreams.  The rest of us must accept the lives we have been dealt.  Life is sometimes good, sometimes bad, sometimes a nightmare and occasionally a dream.
            The problem with dreams is that  one can dream the wrong dream.  Watch any episode of "American Idol" to witness inept dreamers.  The depth of people's belief in themselves is shockingly at odds with their lack of talent.  Dreams are, by their nature, elusive.  If people are willing to commit decades of their lives to pursuing a goal, it might be wise to let the process of pursuit become the defining reality.  If you do a thing and you love doing it, stay with that love and don't be distracted by some end point called Success.  That way, when dreams fail to materialize, the disappointment does not become bitterness.  If a dream IS fulfilled, then there must be a new dream, and yet another in an infinite progression of dreams.  Such is the stuff of being alive.  The world itself is a dream.
            Oprah is but one of many thousands of merchants of Fulfillment.  They thrive in hard times and these are hard times.  I want to go "tut tut" and say "Shame on you for exploiting the frustration and gullibility of your clients."              
          It seems to me that the big-time sellers of Dream Fulfillment Technology are making a lot more money than their customers. That's why the cover of "O" magazine gives me the creeps.
        I realize that Oprah has supported many great causes, given a host of writers their defining break and has represented a general movement towards positive awareness.  It's the cult of personality that bothers me.  I wouldn't be surprised at the establishment of a Dalai-lama style lineage so that in a thousand years we may be addressing the Fourteenth Oprah as she descends from her hover-carpet to bless the multitudes.  I hope that she will be a crotchety old black broad with a whip-sharp tongue and no patience for fools.




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