Sunday, October 10, 2010

A Trailer Park Woos A Tornado

A Trailer Park Woos A Tornado
Art Rosch Oct 10, 2010

Do I see a swirling black cloud
off to the southeast, with big manly
thunderheads towering into the deep blue sky?

Oh yeah, it’s me baby, I’m comin’ to GIT you!

Please, o heart of hearts, sweep me off my cinderblocks,
tear off my tin roofs and toss them everywhere!

Just gimme some time, honey bun,
I haven’t got my wind yet.

You?  Short on wind?  Who else you been destroyin’?
I hear Dreamin’ Acres got a good tossin' just a little while ago.

Now, baby, don’t be that way.  A dinky lil’ F2 was showin’ off
near the county line.

Don’t you go using the “F” word on me, big boy.
For all I know, that F2 was YOU, befo' you got your growth.

Awwww, baby?  Can’t you see how I’m swellin’ for you?

Me and a hundred other trailer parks ‘tween here and Kansas City.

And what if it’s true?  I’m a tornado!  I just can’t help myself.
Look!  I’m goin’ F-5 to prove my love.

(Sighs).  Allright, sugar.  Just give these folks a chance to run to their cellars, a’fore you, uh huh (coughs coyly)  blow me apart!

What?  I CAN’T HEAR YOU!  I’m comin’.  I’m comin’ fast!

Just don’t be wearing no soybean skirts, mister!

WHAT?  RRRRrrrrrrrr!

Whoops!  There went my picnic tables.  You devil, you!


  1. A very funny vignette. Where do you come up with these ideas?

  2. To answer honestly, I just grab things as they pass across the screen of my mind. Something
    strikes me as having potential. I was musing on the eternal relation between twisters and trailer parks. Then I anthropomorphized them. I made them entities with romantic interests. Twisters and trailer parks are crazy about each other!


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