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watched this entire movie. At the end I
felt manipulated. I'd been set up for
the sequel. It wasn't a cliff-hanger. There was a conclusion, an emotional
resolution. I felt conned, anyway.
If I see
a Harry Potter, it's a given that there's going to be another Harry
Potter. I don't know snarf about this
condescending hodge podge called The Hunger Games, except that I'm not going to
rent the sequel.
Behold, as I scan the uber-film website Rotten Tomatoes, I see that
there are at least three more Hunger Games films already
in the can and awaiting the release date in such fashion as to keep the market
sharp. No overstuffing, no bulimia in
these Hunger Games. The films are
scheduled to release one a year, through 2015.
Hunger Games books form a trilogy. That's natural, that's the way the
publishing business works these days.
Write a series: keep them buying the next book. Keep spinning the story until the Young
Adult protagonist gets herpes or joins a cult. After eighteen years of age, the Young Adult hero/heroine has
pubes and periods, and no longer qualifies for the teen discount.
watching the film for two minutes I knew that the story called for Revolution,
that the Old Order must be destroyed.
Let's get rid of these mincing aristocrats who somehow never get fat in
spite of hogging all the food in the world.
Wow, I think. In this future era liposuction has gotten AWESOME!
President Snow and Mr. Funnybeard
the final scene, the camera lingers on the face of Donald Sutherland, who plays
the Benevolent Fuehrer, the grandfatherly President Snow. He taps his
lips with his forefinger. He scowls. His toady,
Mister Funnybeard, had said, vis a vis unforeseen developments in the
live-broadcast annual Hunger Game, "Everyone loves an underdog." President Snow says that he (Mister
Funnybeard) wouldn't like the REAL underdog very much if he got close enough to
smell his B.O.
President Snow sees trouble coming. The Underdogs are getting restless. He forces Mister Funnybeard to eat poison
berries. The Beard wasn't tough
enough. Snow needs a bigger nastier
villain. I don't know anything about
the books, the plot, the film sequels, NUTHIN'. But I betcha Mister Funnybeard's replacement is a real
gorilla. My Predictable-Plot-Sensor has
sniffed and distilled the corn sucrose and polyethylene glycol in Book One and
says, "here she comes in Book Two! A real nasty character!"
This movie got critical
raves and made tons of money and will continue to bask in its over-ratedness as
long as the milk holds out. Maybe
that's because it's filled with such deep philosophical and political
observations. Maybe it has stimulated people
to think deep thoughts!
is: In the not so distant future all the rich people, the one percenters,
have divided the country into twelve districts, with the
richest district being, of course, District One, and so forth. District Twelve is coal mining country, it
looks like Appalachia in the 1920's. Freezing, miserable, hungry miners and their families have been so
completely intimidated that they send their children to participate in the
annual Hunger Games. It's compulsory
but every time a kid enters his or her name into the lottery there's a
payoff. They get a loaf of bread or a
flank steak or something like that.
Hence, there are kids whose poverty and family-feeling has driven them
to do the name-drop forty or fifty times, or a hundred. They know that sooner or later their number
will be up and they will be called to The Hunger Games.
is a live televised gladiatorial contest.
There is only one winner. One
survivor. Two teenagers from each
district are turned loose in a giant domed parkland and must hunt one another
down. There are hidden cameras
everywhere. The frog is a camera. The butterfly is a camera. The weaponry is strictly medieval. Swords,
spears, axes, knives, bows and arrows.
The winner becomes a celebrity and gets all the perks of being a
District One Percenter.
Wow. Would you let your sixteen year old sign up
for this? You don't have a choice. Your kid might be irritating as hell right
now but that's no way to shut up a teenager.
kids from Districts One and Two have years of training and are awesome killing
machines. Kids like Kaitness Everdeen,
from District Twelve, have grown up in the woods and streams of coal
country. They've learned to trap and
hunt to survive. Kaitness is a wizard
with bow and arrow. She's Bear Grylles,
Cody Lundin and Survivor Man Les Stroud dressed like a sixteen year old
girl. Well, she looks more like twenty
six but what's one suspended disbelief among so many?
you have it, folks. The Hunger
Games. It's the TV show Survivor with
real edged weapons. Alliances are
formed and broken. Since ultimately you
may have to kill your boyfriend to win the game, emotional attachments are
thrown all askew. That's the real
cruelty. You have to stop trusting
someone you love.
How heinous! This
crappy system has got to be toppled!
The Revolution will definitely be televised!
thought that was going to happen in this movie. I hadn't reckoned on the sequel, the prequel, the dequel. or the
hypnequal. At the end I just felt
way, the movie is dead slow. Two and a
half hours of Slowwwwww, leavened by
five minutes of climactic battle with Cato The District One Killing Machine.
Kaitness was so smart, why didn't she recover her preciously limited arrows
whenever she shot a squirrel or a pheasant? Stuff like that really bugs me.
give this movie one muskrat for the hair dressers and costume people. They had a hell of a lot of fun. Aw, let's give it another half a muskrat for Woody Harrelson doing a great imitation of Woody Harrelson. The guy's the Nick Nolte of our time. He's made grunge into a career.